So you’re pregnant? I’ll tell you what: Once it klicked and the fruit of your animalistic behaviour manifests itself within you, life changes. Yes it does. Even if you manage to do the stuff you used to do and want the thing you used to want (prepare for some battles!) it changes. No news? This is how it goes.
Crazy times ahead and yet they couldn’t be less average. So chill!
Sorry to spoil this pink fluffy cloud kind of feeling, I know it seems unique but actually it’s something that has been happening gazzilion of times. And as you can see by having a look around you- it’s not only cute as, lovely smelling, pastell coloured dressed, peaceful looking babies evolving from this matter. Well maybe at first, but it doesn’t last. That’s probably why it’s so special and hearts melt by the sight of a newborn. However, after some time these little things can turn into ugly dictators or other weird creatures without a sense of decency. And by this I don’t mean toddlers testing out their limits. I mean grown ups (still behaving like kids fighting over sandtoys). So be aware!
But back to the beginnings. Whatever got you here (trying hard for years, drinking too much just once, making love, or randomly fcking your brains out etc; the decision to keep this bundle of DNA the least): Hey! Here you are:
In your Gyn’s patient room, staring at the screen with the tiny beating heart. You can’t see much but a pulsating dark spot your doctor will point out. Yep, this is it! It’s the thing that, according to many popsongs, will burst with love, ache in pain and beat ’til the end of someone you’ll hopefully be getting to know over the next years. …And who does not turn into a crazy dictator but into a lovely and caring human being. Fingers crossed for you and the rest of the world!
Trusting this black dot will grow and continue beating for decades is the only thing you can do now. Trying not to harm it is another. But this is pretty much what it all comes down to. In pregnancy you are the oven baking the loaf. You are not the baker. Remember that. Especially when things go wrong. Which happens many times, sadly. But cross that bridge when you get to it.
So as the oven all you gotta do is be warm really. But it’s not what everyone around you is thinking. No! You, my dear, will turn into a bullitin board everyone is pinning their advises and worst of all: advertises to. This image is kind of too flat for the times ahead but you get the idea, right?! They all cannot wait for it. It’s THE thing! Selling stuff to you because you are an easy target. It makes a fortune! Keep that in mind when you flick through the magazines being all excited yourself…
Yeah, it’s hard to remember this. You are probably soaking it all in. Actually feeling the urge of random actionism. It’s highly likely you are spending days adding shitloads to the shopping cart at times ahead. Perfectly normal. You gotta prepare, right? You haven’t been here before. You don’t have the slightest idea of what lies ahead. It’s scary and you have to take up the responsibility for it all. (#grownupmoments). But when insecurity is creeping up your back, you are easy prey. And they will scent it. So please, arm for it! Pin this: board full of bullshit.
Free yourself from all the must haves and whatsoever goodies. Try listening to what’s within and inside you. I’m pretty sure all of what you ’really’ need is there or what is in there will tell you what it ‚really‘ needs… Gerkins dipped in whipped cream for example. But it will never ask you to buy a porsche-like version of a kinderwagen or a furhooded onesie. (That’s rather your decadent lifestyle which I’d strongly advise to overthink, but you probably wouldn’t listen anyway. So go ahead wasting money instead of spending time.)
But back to the screen, seeing your baby for the first time. Look at it. Look at the itsybitsy dark beating spot. Ain’t that a friggin‘ miracle? This is what your own heart, probably racing right now, looked like many moons ago, too. It is still beating. So please listen to it now. It will tell you that it’s all ok.
Because the only thing changing is this: from now on your heart is not only beating to keep yourself alive. It’s also beating for someone else. Baboom. Baboom. Baboom… This is how it goes. And this is how it will be for the rest of your life. Because that’s what it’s like becoming a parent.