#7 Koh Tao/Thailand

August 15th, 2005, Koh Tao

Diver’s Paradise the postcards say. This internet café is the coldest place I have been to in a long time. I hate air-conditioning.

We arrived by boat in the late afternoon and again managed to leave the crowd of locals and tourists (as if we weren’t two of them) behind. We shared a “taxi” to a remote beach which was supposed to be an excellent spot for snorkelling.

Yes, a taxi. Luxurious, eh? At least if you`re thinking of a taxi ride in your hometown. Bituminised streets. Traffic regulations. A well tempered and inspected vehicle. Safety belts…

What we got was a little different. We’re sitting on the back of a pickup truck. There were benches on the side of the bed with just enough space in the middle for the tourist’s legs (pale, sunburnt or tanned, depending on the length of time spent here) and luggage. Even the toughest and most adventurous among us were glad to have a handrail to hold on to. We all clutched it so tightly our knuckles turned white. A hell of a ride…

So we got there. And as if that tour hadn’t left me queasy enough who I saw next felt like a kick in the guts.

Back in school we all had someone or two you just didn’t like for reasons or just because, right? Now imagine that person appearing totally unexpected many miles away from home. Urgh. Like “What is S/HE doing here?!” and then you realize s/he’s got what you long for: Uuuuurgh! Like “What the fuck, biatch?!” If you’ve been a little biased towards this person this is the moment that changes everything. From now on you are absolutely sure that this person sucks. Argh!

What were the odds? Out of all random people I had come across in my life- why did she have to walk into me, her beachbody nicely tanned, holding her boyfriend in her arms, strolling towards the sunset. I mean seriously. What the hell was she doing here?

“Hey, what a coincidence- what are you doing here?” Vacation. Three weeks. With her man. Screw you, silly cow.

Ok. Indulge. But I don’t like you. Never have and never will. And I hope I will not walk into you ever again. Goodbye. 

I stopped bearing a grudge because I had someone to hold my hand, too. On the plane or in an off-road taxi. My dear friend and great company: BFF yo!

And I was happy enough to have someone waiting for me at home. One to send the cheesiests postcards to. Or a textmessage (yes. sms. txts. expensive. 2005! roaming fees!!!) “It’s beautiful. But I miss you…” Yes, great idea. I could send a message. Switched on my mobile phone. No reception. Now that’s unfair!

The happy chick sucked. Couples sucked. Flirty singles sucked. This place sucked. We just wanted to get out of there.

Later on a rustling woke us in the middle of the night. Swish, crackle, scratch. We couldn’t see a thing but felt watched. There was something really close to us. It was a bit scary. It was dark. We were holding hands and started giggling.

We were in a much better mood the next morning. There was a hammock on our veranda. What a place to enjoy the idyllic scene. Palm trees. Flowers. Butterflies.  Beauty of the moment. Gently rocking. No. I wasn’t lacking anything. I was happy. Screw the thoughts on what couples do waking up to this…

Hello there, the angel from my nightmare
The shadow in the background of the morgue
The unsuspecting victim of darkness in the valley
We can live like Jack and Sally if we want
Where you can always find me
And we’ll have halloween on Christmas
And in the night we’ll wish this never ends
We’ll wish this never ends
I miss you, miss you
(I Miss You – Blink 182) – Dedicated to my „little G.“, the female love of my life.

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